Side note..

I forgot to mention in my previous post.. I have noticed there are a lot of themes for days when blogging. I always thought it was a cute idea but never wanted to be a copy cat lol but, I'm breaking in and following the trend.. so I made up some of my own themes for each day of the week..

Memory Monday (dedicated to my son Carter..sharing my memories of him with you)
Ten Things Tuesday (thanks Tricia)
Worry Wednesday (just blogging about my concerns and worries of the week)
Thankful Thursday (saying thank you to in my mind deserves it)
For my kids Friday (blogging about my kids and their accomplishments)

Saturday and Sunday I'll leave open for my random thoughts..


THANKFUL THURSDAY..

I wanted to say thank you to the BMV for letting old people drive..How else would I show up late everywhere I go.. or almost get sideswiped driving down the street.. or get cut off by them pulling out in front of me. Thank you BMV for letting them drive even though they can't hear, see, or even walk. I feel so safe driving my two children in a 5 ton death machine with those kind of people on the road... THANKS!!

Future? or disaster?

I have been thinking a lot about my future lately..

I have a college degree in Culinary Arts..

I have three beautiful children (one's just on vacation forever)..

The hubby has a great job..

and we are still struggling..

We have been having financial ups and downs for the past 6 years.. and quite frankly.. I'M SICK OF IT! With josh being paid twice as much as his salary while he is deployed I hope we can get back on our feet.. He is going to need a vehicle when he gets back.. I really want to pay off all of our debt and buy a house.. but my past experiences are nagging at me saying "hahaha you wish.. I got other plans in store for you..."

The above list of things I have are costing me more than helping me.. first, my culinary degree.. do they really think that I am able to pay them upwards of $800 a month? wouldn't it be easier to give them my kidney?...my children..God bless them but they don't come cheap.. Hubby and his job..it's the government.. they are taking him for a year.. which has its own price..

I have always worried too much about money.. to the point sometimes it makes me sick and not able to sleep.. but things always work out somehow..but I still can't let it go! aggh.. it is really frustrating me..

anyways..the future..

I have always looked forward to what is better to come.. but looking at my past.. I should've just cherished the present moment.. so that's what I'm going to try to do.. If I keep worrying about things like money I won't appreciate the fact that I DO have a wonderful life..

Strong?

Josh is Back.

For the next 9 days...

I keep touching on this subject not to inform others.. but to kind of inform myself.. It hasn't really settled on my brain like should. Denial? you could call it that.. I would describe it more like puting on my shiny armor to prepare for battle..

People say I'm strong. I never thought of myself as strong.. maybe I come across that way? Yes I have been through many trials and tribulations (more to come obviously) but, I have crumbled in ways no one sees... maybe it's slowly eating at me from the inside out.

I'll make it. I WILL make it. What choice do I have? I don't... So come on shiny armor.. protect my heart.. lets win this one..