Yeah so I already had a sappy morning.. See above.. Yet again..not going to jump into that topic or my blog would be 10 pages long..my heart is still aching...
ANYWAY...
So...I finally finished backing up my pictures onto cds, which I have been meaning to do for a long time now. I just got scared considering my microwave, washer, and two (yes 2) tvs are broken.. didn't want a computer disaster to wipe out all of my much needed memories..
The countdown begins..and no not a happy one..27 days til josh starts training to go to iraq. I think I have just been puting off thinking about it because it still doesn't seem real. Just like when he left for 5 months for basic and AIT.. it didn't hit me until the drive home that I wouldn't be seeing him for a while. and yes, those 5 months seemed like an eternity, I can only image how long the next year and a half will feel like..
I know I can take care of the kids, bills, etc...but I just worry about him. Kohen's 5th birthday..him going to preschool..kaelyn's first birthday..first words..walking.. he missed all of it with carter and I swore he wouldn't go through that again..well here we are...
There is also the fact that he is going to WAR..can't ignore that fact.. I don't even want to think about what would happen if he didn't make it home..I'm praying for the best..
"Praying".. Okay, this is one topic I can't ignore... I have ALWAYS been religious..and I DO believe in God..I just unfortunately doubt his motives.. which is not exactly the thing I should be thinking if I want to go to heaven and see my precious baby boy again...but I'm sure someday..(NOT NOW)..I will forgive him for taking Carter away from me..cuz it sure as hell doesn't make any sense to me..
ALRIGHT...I said I wasn't getting into that today... ANYWAYS.. You would think that since Kohen now has his own little dwelling with all of his toys that he would be super excited...NOPE still biting at my ankles...see yesterday's post about my ongoing insanity...
So..the fighter group called me a couple days ago and asked me if I could work monday and tuesday so knowing that we need the extra money I made arrangements to work the two days... it's only 5 hours both days..not much but at least I will get out of the house AND make enough to pay the difference on our washer..or fix the tv..or buy a new microwave...haven't decided yet... even though I make good money josh referred to it as "chump change" and that it wasn't worth working those 2 days.. which is his way of saying I love and you and would rather you stay home and spend time with me before I leave... well at least that's what i'm trying to hear..
ANYWAY...
So...I finally finished backing up my pictures onto cds, which I have been meaning to do for a long time now. I just got scared considering my microwave, washer, and two (yes 2) tvs are broken.. didn't want a computer disaster to wipe out all of my much needed memories..
The countdown begins..and no not a happy one..27 days til josh starts training to go to iraq. I think I have just been puting off thinking about it because it still doesn't seem real. Just like when he left for 5 months for basic and AIT.. it didn't hit me until the drive home that I wouldn't be seeing him for a while. and yes, those 5 months seemed like an eternity, I can only image how long the next year and a half will feel like..
I know I can take care of the kids, bills, etc...but I just worry about him. Kohen's 5th birthday..him going to preschool..kaelyn's first birthday..first words..walking.. he missed all of it with carter and I swore he wouldn't go through that again..well here we are...
There is also the fact that he is going to WAR..can't ignore that fact.. I don't even want to think about what would happen if he didn't make it home..I'm praying for the best..
"Praying".. Okay, this is one topic I can't ignore... I have ALWAYS been religious..and I DO believe in God..I just unfortunately doubt his motives.. which is not exactly the thing I should be thinking if I want to go to heaven and see my precious baby boy again...but I'm sure someday..(NOT NOW)..I will forgive him for taking Carter away from me..cuz it sure as hell doesn't make any sense to me..
ALRIGHT...I said I wasn't getting into that today... ANYWAYS.. You would think that since Kohen now has his own little dwelling with all of his toys that he would be super excited...NOPE still biting at my ankles...see yesterday's post about my ongoing insanity...
So..the fighter group called me a couple days ago and asked me if I could work monday and tuesday so knowing that we need the extra money I made arrangements to work the two days... it's only 5 hours both days..not much but at least I will get out of the house AND make enough to pay the difference on our washer..or fix the tv..or buy a new microwave...haven't decided yet... even though I make good money josh referred to it as "chump change" and that it wasn't worth working those 2 days.. which is his way of saying I love and you and would rather you stay home and spend time with me before I leave... well at least that's what i'm trying to hear..
is that enough mindless rambling? yeah I think so..at least for today...
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