AgGhhH!!

My four month old daughter has found her voice.. when she is not cat napping (naps that consist of 20 minute intervals) she is fake crying or shrieking. yes my 4 month old fake cries. I didn't think that it was even possible! They say babies can't be spoiled... I don't believe it... Kaelyn cries like I left her forever.. is hyperventilating.. when I pick her up "SMILES!" yes I believe that is what you call spoiled..

Don't get me wrong. I love being a stay at home mom but sometimes I just want to freaking poke my eyes out with a fork and pull all my hair out! I try to stay busy to keep my mind off of my stress but, I'm wondering if it is just causing me more stress. Do I ever just sit and do nothing?? Answer? NO. I Can't. Apparently I'm ADD or something. It is impossible for me to take it easy.

I don't have a job.. so what do I do you say?? I play with my kids..I go to stores just to browse.. I go to the YMCA.. spend time with family.. go tanning.. pay bills.. hang out with friends.. but do you ever get those times where you just wish you could be by yourself? I love love love my kids..but I think I forgot how much work 2 kids are. The crazy thing is... I want more kids. I want 2 more kids.. is that crazy?? That would bring the total to 5 births.. will my body keep bouncing back.. not sure!!

I still have another 10 lbs to lose to be happy with myself. People yell and scream at me.. you look fine! You don't need to lose weight.. okay when I sit down and I can't breathe cuz my belly is hanging over my pants...I'm not happy. sorry...

Okay. Point. My daughter is spoiled. I love my kids. I think I'm on the brink of insanity.