Sunday, November 23, 2008

Ups and Downs

So just when I thought things were going great... Josh's truck breaks down.. not just a little fix.. but freakin 500 dollars worth of crap that needs fixed! Josh just found out a couple days ago that he will be working on trucks for the army making really good money.. so that's great. and that means I only have ten days until I go on maternity leave! which is also great..then this! blah..
Yeah so, I was just sitting here thinking, what the hell am I going to do with myself when I am not working for the next 8 weeks!! (I say 8 cuz I'm being induced early) I took my maternity leave with Carter at 34 weeks and had him at 38 weeks.. for those 4 weeks I went crazy.. the nesting was obserd! (which has already gone into full affect lol) so really I've organized just about everything in my house.. I get disgusted by dirt and disorganization.. so I guess I will just become an even bigger ultimate cleaning freak!
My nerves are also shot. I have no patience worth a shit anymore. I get easily frustrated and overemotional about everything. I was thinking about taking this time to finish my scrapbooking to keep me busy. I made one for Carter but haven't had the guts to finish it yet. How can I sum up his life into one little book of pictures.. there are about 4 more pages that I need to do before it's done. It just doesn't do him justice. I also wanted to take the picture album of kohen's first year and make a scrapbook out of it. I have like over 200 pictures of him. lol. I'm not a pro but i think that i do pretty good work.
So if anyone else has any suggestions on how to keep busy for the next 8 weeks let me know!! hopefully time flies with the holidays around and everything. then I get her out of me just in time to realize that Carter will be gone a year on January 26th. which is very close to my due date.
When I went for my OB apt last time I talked to the doc about inducing me because my mom was coming up from florida and I was induced with Carter with no complications.. then he was like well without dialation or any other factors the earliest we can do it is the 24th. then he was like oh wait that's a saturday so about the 26th. my jaw dropped.. I said uh oh definately not that day..It's just so surreal that both the best and worst days of my life are falling on what seems like the same day. So my mom is coming up on the 20th.. i'm hoping to be induced by the 22nd.. that way I can come home before the anniversary of Carter passing away.. I want to be able to take her to the cemetary and introduce her to her big brother... oh god.. that sucks. So many fears and worries are overwhelming me.