Wednesday, December 9, 2009

No "Bah-Humbug" this year!

From the beginning of Josh's deployment.. I had NOT been looking forward to any of the holidays.. sad yes.. but for a good reason. Nothing seems complete without your other half with you celebrating. and part of you feels guilty for even having a good time knowing they are stuck in a miserable situation with HoRrIbLe food (and yes I heard the gripes from their 'thanksgiving' feast made by the Indonesians.. not good!).

Josh was originally supposed to come home in january right in time for Kaelyn's first birthday (um mental note.. this year went FAST!) but luckily he is able to come home next week and be here for christmas. how VERY very exciting for our entire family. I heard the song "all I want for christmas is you" on the radio the other day and I teared up! lol. I am just so glad that he can spend christmas with his kids and see the joy on their faces when they open their presents on christmas morning.. because we all know, once he goes back to Iraq its going to be another LONG 7 months til he comes home again.

Which brings me to another subject.... my extreme shopping that has been undergoing for the last oh month! I thought I put all the bulk of the toys in layaway back in november.. but then I keep buying things along the way. and the 100 gift card I had for toys r us didn't help any! lol. I am so glad that this year I have the 2 things that I could ever ask for... 1-my husband home for christmas and 2-my kids getting spoiled with love and happiness (and excessive gifts lol.. not usually a priority but I like to make them happy)

Usually things are always tight and I end up waiting til 3 days before christmas to do all the shopping and it's a bunch of generic miscellaneous things just to make it look like they have a lot to open. I guess one thing good that came out of this whole deployment thing is that we are finally at a point that we are financially stable. (ummm not going to mention that josh doesn't have a job when he gets back... and uhh neither do I... trying to forget that for the moment.)

I know this post sounds like all that matters is the presents I buy for my kids. Not the point that I'm trying to make. It's this: I will do whatever it takes to bring a smile to my kids's faces. I love to see them happy and I would much rather spend the money on them (up to my last dime) than on myself. and they deserve it. Esp. Kohen. he's been through a lot in his short 5 years of life. I love my family and wouldn't trade it for the world! I'm a lucky woman. and don't expect any blogs after monday til the new year because I will be soking up EVERY minute with the love of my life while he is home. thanks everyone for being So SO so very supportive!

Monday, December 7, 2009

Happy Medium

Okay so I have to do some self criticism on this one..

I was talking with my wonderful husband the other day and he said the most true statement that I have ever heard about me.. and started a self analysis.

He said. "Kara you have two extremes.. one being that you want to please everyone and you are overly nice.. and the other is when you can't take it anymore and you explode like a bomb and say things you don't mean.. you need to find a happy medium."

God bless this man... I never looked at it like that before. I have a tendancy to let people walk all over me, use and abuse me, and take advantage of me everyway they can. I end up just holding it all inside.. then it all builds up and I explode and say hurtful things very defensively.. So yes, I need to find that happy medium.. I need to stick up for myself in the appropriate time but do it in a less defensive way. Say things that I don't agree with but, nicely.

I'd like to think that these past 6 months have taught me a lot about myself (as spending every day with screaming crazy children and lonely nights not knowing what to do with myself) I set a goal for myself the day Josh left. This time will be about me and the kids. So for the rest of the time that Josh is gone.. I hope he comes back to a sane.. better understanding wife! lol..