Monday, July 6, 2009

WoW it's been a while since I have blogged... okay like a week.. but still..

You know when you reach that point in your life when certain people you thought you were close with just don't matter that much anymore? I'm not talking about family or anything like that..

This is hard to explain..

People grow up at different paces.. and sometimes I think that I am growing up faster than others.. I am seeking that true friendship with someone I can truely relate to.. I think Andrea touched on this subject a while ago.. when you have kids it's just different.. people who don't have kids (which I'm not saying if you don't have kids its a bad thing..) just don't really understand the idea of giving everything you have to them.. with you in the back of your mind being untouched..

Even some people I know that DO have kids are not making grown up decisions.. sure I like my night out every couple months to escape.. but I'm not stuck in party mode anymore..

I have been through so much shit in the past 4 years I feel like I'm 50 years old! I always forget the fact that I'm 24! I had Kohen when I was 20 years old.. then I got married at 21.. had Carter when I was 22.. Josh left for 5 months for boot camp.. 2 months later..lost Carter at 23..had Kaelyn in January.. and now Josh is gone for a year in IRAQ...

I guess what I'm trying to say is.. I need people in my life that share the same values.. the same beliefs.. understand where I've been and where I'm going... I have just come to the point where I need to cut out the bullshit in my life and focus on who and what are important..