Saturday, December 5, 2009

Is it my turn yet??

Do you ever get the feeling that when you are talking to somone that they just really don't care what you are saying??

Do you find that some of the people in your life that are supposed to be deemed most important just really don't give a crap?

This has been happening to me a lot in the past oh say.. since January 26th of 2008.. which by reading my blogs you show know what that date is..

It's funny how you go through something tragic to a very extreme degree but someone related to the situation makes it all about them. I am not one to reach out and constantly expect pity on any situation that I have been through.. but when it comes down to it and I just truely need to vent about something and say I AM HURTING because of this.. why can't I just be given that moment. I don't neccessarily always need to hear "I know exactly how you feel this is whats going in my life" and talk about you for the next 45 minutes. Can I just vent and cry and get some sympathy from people close to me once in a while? What does it take for someone to pick up the phone and say "how are you holding up?" or "I'm so sorry.. I am here for you"

I'd like to say that I am a good listener, supporter, friend, and family member. I constantly go out of my way to please everyone in my life.. but when does it come a point when it's my turn? Where do I stop and say. enough is enough.. I need to focus on me and my kids? I feel like I am constanly being walked all over and taken advantage of and I guess it's kind of my fault because I let it happen. but when I do happen to stand up for myself I'm being a "bitch."

I guess what I need advice on is.. how do I put my foot down.. how do I learn to stick up for myself and tell people how I really feel? I find myself getting so upset about situations and never doing anything about them. I am DONE. I have reached my breaking point. When is it MY turn?

1 comment:

renee said...

oh kara, what kind of person would not listen to you in that situation. YOUR feelings are more important than ANYONE elses, in that situation. I really can't understand a person like that. HOWEVER, my mother did that when maria was in the nicu (and she STILL does when she's talking about it). like she wants ME to feel sorry for HER...? for what, i'll never know, since she got to see/speak to/touch my daughter before i did. i think sometimes when something like that is the biggest thing to happen to someone, they feel like it's happening to THEM, instead of realizing who it's REALLY affecting the most. does that make sense? my advice is...i have none. i can't imagine ever sticking up to my mom so i have no way to tell you how to stick up to whomever you are talking about. sorry :-( but if you EVER want someone to listen, i am here and would be happy to let you vent. {{{hugs}}}