Monday, November 15, 2010

Overall Re-Vamp in Progress..

Okay.. so, if you read my last blog you have noticed that I redesigned my page. Well, if you, again, read my last blog.. that is not the only thing in my life that I am "re-vamping"

As kind of a continuation of my last blog.. I'd like to spill the beans a little further on my process of getting 'me' back.

Those of you who know me, or have been following my blog over the past few years.. know that it's been a rough couple years. Let me rephrase that.. it's been Hell. Well I've kind of been just along for the ride of ups and downs.. but have come to the conclusion that I don't want to be miserable inside my head anymore. I HAVE a choice to be happy.

Ever since my son passed away, I have been plagued with anxiety, paranoia and many other up and down feelings. (don't worry.. no drastic measure thoughts over here) and my friends and family have been constantly suggesting that I get some sort of "help". Well I always thought that I could fix it myself. Yeah. and 3 years later here I am still not "fixing" anything.

I FINALLY went to see my doctor.. I told her everything that has been going on. I am surprised I didn't end up leaving there in a straight jacket with a one way ticket to the mental hospital lol.

I am going to counseling. Yep. It's official.. I am going to go and talk to someone and get it all out.. and HOPEFULLY learn some coping skills with all the other BS that comes along in my life. I am actually kind of excited. ( I guess not really excited to revisit certain topics, but to be able to, not forget, but move on and remember the happy times)

She also put me on some paxil to help take the edge off. Which, I have a LOT of edge to take off.. haha.

So I am hoping that within the next year that I will be able to enjoy my life to the fullest without being afraid. I would like to thank EVERYONE for their support and encouragement. Maybe their IS light at the end of this long tunnel...??


andrea said...

i am so proud of you. (and, said in mymost loving voice - it's about time you took care of YOU!) there is a light out there, you're on your way to find it!

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad that you're allowing someone help you! We may all try to "heal" ourselves but sometimes it just cannot happen with out the support and help of others. I wish you nothing but the best and I hope you come out of this "funk" a much happier mommy & wife, and the old you! Take care hun!