Thursday, June 4, 2009

Future? or disaster?

I have been thinking a lot about my future lately..

I have a college degree in Culinary Arts..

I have three beautiful children (one's just on vacation forever)..

The hubby has a great job..

and we are still struggling..

We have been having financial ups and downs for the past 6 years.. and quite frankly.. I'M SICK OF IT! With josh being paid twice as much as his salary while he is deployed I hope we can get back on our feet.. He is going to need a vehicle when he gets back.. I really want to pay off all of our debt and buy a house.. but my past experiences are nagging at me saying "hahaha you wish.. I got other plans in store for you..."

The above list of things I have are costing me more than helping me.. first, my culinary degree.. do they really think that I am able to pay them upwards of $800 a month? wouldn't it be easier to give them my kidney?...my children..God bless them but they don't come cheap.. Hubby and his job..it's the government.. they are taking him for a year.. which has its own price..

I have always worried too much about money.. to the point sometimes it makes me sick and not able to sleep.. but things always work out somehow..but I still can't let it go! aggh.. it is really frustrating me..

anyways..the future..

I have always looked forward to what is better to come.. but looking at my past.. I should've just cherished the present moment.. so that's what I'm going to try to do.. If I keep worrying about things like money I won't appreciate the fact that I DO have a wonderful life..

1 comment:

andrea said...

oh those stupid student loans. I TOTALLY understand where you are coming from on that one - and I am going to be adding to my mountain of debt in about 2 months for my masters. It sucks. But I know that in the end, it is so worth it.

and damn these kids are expensive - b/w G's $25 formula, her medicine and diapers - the girl runs me broke! ;)

i know that it is hard and i have been sick over it more times than i care to think about, but i thought the same thing last week - we always make it work, the bills are always paid on time, we are all doing ok and no amount of worrying will change anything.

we're both going to be okay!!